FarmVille - Doin' That Chicken Thang

Alright, so after the last crop I stole a few more plots from the garden to expand my little visitors area in the center of the board ... mostly so I could try out that chicken coop / mystery egg thing. Well, it works. Cycled a few different sets of gold and black chickens through the coop and gathered not one ... not two ... but THREE batches of gold mystery eggs. Sweet.

Oh, and when I harvested the black chickens I put in one ready-to-harvest black chicken and four golden chickens that were NOT ready ... and I got golden eggs twice, but no black eggs. This tells me two things. 1) the unready chickens still count in the odds of getting specific egg color. 2) I am SUCH a fuckin' dork that I sit around playing with digital chickens in my spare time AND ... I blog about it. What the hell is wrong with me? I used to be cool. Ok, not really.

So ... the farm is progressing nicely and li'l farmer Ben is heading towards a happy FarmVille retirement check. What were my goals again? Oh yeah ... big ole plantation (check), log cabin (check), greenhouse (lvl 30 is just around the corner), and a million coins. We're in the home stretch now. :)

Both sheds are upgraded, so plenty of storage for now. I did finally get sick of all the clicking and buy a seeder. Laziness prevails! Was saving fuel for plowing (since that's the only one that contributes to the "Lord of the Plow" ribbon), but ... screw it. Retirement is on the horizon. :)

C-ya.

Back In Business ... and business is good.

Yes! FarmVille finally let me in, my crops have been harvested, the ground is seeded (with more grapes) ... and YES! ... I got my damn gold chicken. :)

I guess farmer Ben doesn't have to strap the tractor with a fertilizer bomb and head for the Zynga office after all.

Rolled past that $250K mark again so I snagged up my log cabin. Came with a nice points bonus that pushed me up to level 28. Still growing grapes. Still working on mastery. Still gotta hit level 30 to get my greenhouse. Still gotta save a million coins.

No worries. I'll be there in a few days.

Catch ya later.
Ben T.

P.S. FarmVille sucks. :)

Free FarmVille Tips: This one is time sensitive. These 1/5 fuel tanks ... um ... you can use them to get more fuel. If you're about to call an end to your day in FarmVille and you have a full (or close to full) tank of gas, use one of the 1/5 fuel tanks to overfill it, then logout with just a bit of fuel so the autorefill will do it's thing. I have 74 tanks of fuel now. Thanks everyone. Keep'em coming. :)

FarmVille is Dead!

Ok, not really, but FarmVille hasn't loaded for me since this morning.

Instead I am greeted by this:  Howdy farmers! We are resolving reported LOADING issues and have TURNED OFF WITHER, so your crops and farms are safe. Fix coming soon!

Well, no loss but it kinda sucks. I had my grape crops staggered, hitting 3 times a day for a quickie harvest and replanting and now I'm gonna have one big-ass crop of grapes. Damn. Oh well, better than no grapes at all (so I'm glad they turned off wither).

I'm guessing the issue isn't effecting everyone since I still have friends on my list posting fuel and mystery eggs. I dunno. But ... that reminds me. Someone posted golden eggs and I hatched a golden chicken ... then the game didn't load. So now I'm wonderin' ... am I gonna get my gold chicken or not?

That truly was a mystery egg ... and I hope things work out best for you Zynga. I'm serious. Hell hath no fury like a blogger who didn't get is damn gold chicken! :)

So anyway ... I think that's enough since I can't get into FarmVille right now anyway.

Staggered Grapes in FarmVille

Alright, so now I guess I'm in the final stretch.

Now it's all about the money. Well, yeah, then there's the points. I have a big ole plantation, I'm well on my way to grape mastery, and I've already earned over a million coins. Unfortunately I've spent nearly all of them on growth. Now I actually get to start keeping the money ... or buying that cutesy shit that everyone else has all over their farms. Nah, I'll pass.

I don't plan to "finish" this game, but I'm still holding out for a million coins, a log cabin & a greenhouse. Retired millionaire pothead is a title I can live with. :)

You can see in the pic I'm at level 26 with about 100k and staggered grape crops covering my big ole plantation. Time to run for the money. Ok, maybe jog for the money. I'm not in that much of a hurry. It's FarmVille. :)

By the way ... who are we growin' all this shit for anyway? They shippin it out to YoVille or something?

Farmer Ben Just Got the Big Ol' Plantation

Ok, so there's no point in showing you todays crops as they were much the same as yesterday, however ... they did put enough coinage in my pocket to do the Big Ole Plantation upgrade ... and here it is.

You can see I now have 4 rows of grapes around the outside, and I've seeded the entire center in blueberries (since I'm such a dork that I know I'll be back to check before I go to bed) to squeeze in an extra harvest today. Have I mentioned that I hate Zynga? :)

Yes sir. A big ole plantation, a full crop in the field, 40K in my pocket ... less than two weeks and could have done it faster. I was just tinkering for the first couple days before the shit hooked me in. Can't believe how much time I've spent on this crap. lol

FarmVille sucks! :)

Oh yeah ... and this is just ... well, it's sad really. Look.

I've earned the "High Roller" blue ribbon. That means I've made over a million coins. OMG. How much MORE time will I waste ... in FarmVille?

I did mention that I've only been playing for about 11 days now, right? Yep. Easy-peasy.

If you have questions, ask.

Maybe I'll even answer them. ;)

What is Your FarmVille Philosophy?

Ok, time to go deep. I'll try not to make it hurt ... much.

Do you have your own FarmVille philosophy?  I do, and whether it's on a conscious or subconscious level ... I'm guessing you have one too. It's your own way of looking at things that becomes the driving force behind the seemingly endless time wasted in this stupid game we call ... FarmVille.

Or you might say ... it's the primary thought behind your strategy.

Let's explore, shall we?

We'll look at the two opposite ends of the spectrum. You will likely fall somewhere in between.

First I'll let you in on my FarmVille philosophy. I can boil it down to one sentence. "Money in the ground is money in the bank." Unless you totally screw up your timing and let a crop dry up you will always be making money if there's something in the ground. So I always have crops ... and as many as possible.

Lately I have given up a few plots in the center of the board for a little landing patch for visitors, but it's still 99% business. Ok, maybe 95%. I have flowers all over the damn place chasing another ribbon. lol It's ridiculous I tell you.

Anyway, let's take a look at my plantation.

From the very beginning I worked to plow as much of my land as possible. With every upgrade came 2 new rows and more work for me to do. What the hell was I thinking? Oh yeah ... "money in the ground is money in the bank".

Well, at this point I'll be upgrading to a Big Ole Plantation within a couple days and coins are not really an issue any longer. They come in pretty fast now. Here's the thing ... I've only been playing for 10 days. lol  Actually I think tomorrow makes day 10. Yeah. Anyway ... it's EASY to build big and to do it pretty quickly. I'll be able to ease off the throttle, settle in and decorate in nearly any way I choose in a few days so ... yeah ... two weeks to a kick-ass farm in FarmVille. lol   ...and it could have been done faster. I made a couple mistakes here and there. Like letting a whole field of raspberries go to waste. Tisk tisk.

The friend who brought me into the game ... well, I passed her ass up a couple days ago. She's been playing for quite a while now. How? Well, it's because I'm a badass farmer. Ok, if you don't buy that ... it's because of my stupid FarmVille philosophy - "Money in the ground is money in the bank." ...and because I have systematically grown my farm and worked my way to planting more of the more expensive seed. Money spent so far has all been about making more money or getting more experience points ... and when li'l farmer Ben is a millionaire ... THEN I'll worry about decorating.

Free FarmVille Tips: Make friends and get neighbors quickly. Just add a few a day from one of the "Add Me on FarmVille" pages on facebook. I include a short personal note on these friend requests that says "FarmVille. Add me as a neighbor."  That's about all there is to it except, of course, approving their neighbor invite or sending them one once they've become a friend. Then check the live feed on your facebook homepage often for free bonus links posted by friends. The extra loot comes in handy while you are still growing.

Now let's visit another farmer on that "opposite end" I mentioned.

Ok, as you can see here ... this farmer might say "Why do today what you can put off 'til tomorrow?" or possibly "Fuck this. FarmVille sucks." We have the 6 original plots you start with in FarmVille. The four original crops are still here. All dead. The two plowed plots have obviously been fertilized. I've fertilized them a couple times myself. Nothing ever grows there. It's tragic. Isn't it?

Well, for just $19.95 a month you can save a garden just like this one. Send your check or money order to ... Ok, I'm kidding.

That's probably the best thing about FarmVille - there's really no "wrong" way to do it. It's YOUR farm, right? You get to do things YOUR way. So what is it? Lay some FarmVille Philosophy on me.

Post it as a comment.

FarmVille Sucks!

I know, I know... a gazillion crazy gamers will rush to their defense, but damn it ... it's true. This goofy-ass game sucked me in, wasted a shitload of my time ... and now I can't stop going back to facebook to check my damn crops.

Thanks a lot Zynga! Don't you think I already had enough shit to do with my time? I guess not ... so you put out this super-cheesy little game you call "FarmVille". ...and don't try to tell me it's not cheesy. My alien cows give milktonium muddafukka!

Yeah, sorry about that. Anyway...

Dumb as it may seem, li'l farmer Ben has been working his ass off, and I've spent more time on facebook in a week than I have since I signed up looked around and bailed out of sheer boredom a couple years ago. lol

Wtf Zynga? Seriously, I know these games are making you fat stacks of cash, but damn you're like ... fuckin' up people's schedules and shit. I wonder just how many company hours have been spent playing FarmVille? I'll bet it's a lot!

Kudos on the game and congrats on it's success. What are you up to again? ...like 70 million registered players? Damn. ...and I'd bet a large percentage of those are quite active. I was almost never on facebook. Lately I've just kept the PC logged in all day. I keep pokin' my head in to see if someone found a stupid lonely cow or something I can adopt to get a lousy ribbon (and the experience points). Someone just shoot me.

Again ... wtf Zynga? Damn it. I have shit to do!

So yeah, FarmVille sucks. If you're not careful it'll suck you in too. If it's too late, well, best of luck to you. Add me as a neighbor. :)

I am (and have)
Ben Twisted

...and I am a addicted to FarmVille. You bastards.

P.S. Add me on facebook ... and as a neighbor in FarmVille.